Do you wish you had other people’s love and acceptance? No matter what you do, do you feel it is never good enough for your family, partner and friends? Are you seeking other people’s approval before you do things?
Are You Judge or Jury?
How do you treat other people, including your family, partner and friends? Do you judge them or condemn them before really understanding their point of view? Or do you accept them unconditionally for who they are? Every one of us has our own values, beliefs and other personality preferences which drive our behaviour. Rather than judging other people as wrong or right or good or bad, respect that people have different ways of relating to the world. Their view of the world is correct for them as yours is for you.
People are also much more than their behaviour. Each one of us has infinite potential to achieve so much more. Sometimes the behaviours we use limit our potential. So rather than judging other people as a bad person, instead see that person as totally magnificent. Look at their behaviour and ask yourself how could you empower them to tap into more of their potential?
Often we judge ourselves and others based on our beliefs. For example, if we have a belief that we are not good enough, we will continue comparing and judging ourselves versus others even if our results are far superior to our past performance. It still isn’t enough.
Some people need approval and feel that they don’t belong even if they are part of a family, circle of friends, society, community, etc. Because of those beliefs, they compromise themselves to fit in, to get approval and to feel a sense of belonging. Therefore, it is important to identify and address any such beliefs and fears so that you can stop judging yourself and other people.
All Acceptance is Self Acceptance
Before you can seek acceptance from other people, first you need to give yourself permission to accept yourself as you are right now. Until you reach a point where you can look in the mirror and honestly say you really love and fully accept yourself for who you are, you will find it difficult to fully feel acceptance from other people.
How often do you achieve things only to ignore or skim over them, and move on to the next thing? Do you take your successes for granted or take the time to acknowledge and celebrate them? A very simple way to start learning to accept yourself is to keep a daily success journal, in which you record all your daily successes (at least three small and/or large ones). These successes would include things you physically do and say, any positive thoughts and feelings you have, any action you take on your goals, anything nice that you do for yourself or other people, anything nice others do for you, etc.
Showing yourself daily gratitude for your successes will encourage your unconscious mind to keep creating even more success in your life. Remember that success breeds success.
Dr. Vesna Grubacevic is an author (of the Amazon best-selling book, Stop Sabotaging Your Confidence), speaker, media commentator, and the founder and Performance Transformation Expert® with multi award-winning company, Qt. She holds a PhD, a BEc and is passionate about helping professionals and individuals to improve their confidence, emotional and mental wellbeing and success. For more free resources please visit www.qttransformation.com
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